3287 Days

3287 Days. That’s how many days it took from birth to starting my first day in 4th grade. Or even harder to process, that’s the days between starting 3rd grade and graduating high school! Wow!

9 years ago today, I had no idea who I was, where I was going, or what I wanted out of my life. I had no drive, motivation, or goals. I was deeply saddened and paralyzed by anxiety daily. I felt I was undeserving of anything good happening, and felt guilty when it did. I was running from responsibilities and waiting to be saved by someone I hadn’t met yet.

9 years ago I made a decision to do better, try harder, and go for it, even if I failed. I repeatedly met my match while facing the obstacles recovery put in my path. I cried, GOD did I cry! I got mad! I declared unjust on more than one occasion. During this time, I licked every. single. wound. But then I allowed myself the time I needed to rest, re-adjust, and get back up on my feet.

In the last nine years I have completed 4 college programs and started a 5th, cleaned up my credit score enough to buy a house and a car (or 4, lol), traveled to amazing locales, and received the opportunity to start a career working exactly where I want to be helping others just like myself.

Sure I still get knocked down every now and again, but I’m so grateful for all the experiences I face now- good and bad. That’s what it’s all about for me! I’m no longer waiting for someone to save me because I saved myself. Now when faced with an obstacle I endure by having compassion, grace, patience, kindness, and understanding with myself. Because now I know… I’m worthy, I’m deserving, I’m valid, I matter, I make a difference, I. Am. Enough. and I always will be. Happy 9-year soberversary, Mis! I CANNOT wait for what’s in store over the next 9 years! I love you!